He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
porn star boner night. come get it.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Randomize
