I love black thongs
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Use "feeling words"
Yay
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
