he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
