if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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