maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
