just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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