My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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