I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
