if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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