Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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