Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Randomize