My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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