Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I could make wine with my vomit
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
