Whod you bang
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
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