And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
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im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
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Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.