I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
birth control should be required to get into college
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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