Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
