About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine