He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I've blown a few things in my day
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
