I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
