His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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