do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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