That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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