Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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