When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
