I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
