Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
