thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
