Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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