He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
