we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
