Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize