Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
