Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize