it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
