Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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