I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize