Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
