I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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