I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
