I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
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