Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
