If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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