I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.