someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already