Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman

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  (440): I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman http://tfl.nu/jmt9
  Replies (6) Good night (2205) Bad night (1351)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.

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  (804): remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt. http://tfl.nu/2ukp
  Replies (9) Good night (854) Bad night (3422)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  my vagina's been through so much this weekend

  (1-860): View more from Connecticut

  you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?

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  (860): my vagina's been through so much this weekend (1-860): you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend? http://tfl.nu/jr6r
  Replies (35) Good night (7739) Bad night (1102)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank

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  (514): Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank http://tfl.nu/3d4y
  Replies (10) Good night (997) Bad night (3972)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..

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  (601): Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store.. http://tfl.nu/p81s
  Replies (9) Good night (2448) Bad night (867)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.

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  (636): Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time. http://tfl.nu/mfto
  Replies (6) Good night (2411) Bad night (1361)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.

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  (214): The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to. http://tfl.nu/ot3b
  Replies (2) Good night (1825) Bad night (629)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.

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  (303): Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking. http://tfl.nu/1gdj
  Replies (3) Good night (1864) Bad night (656)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.

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  (603): I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST. http://tfl.nu/xkvr
  Replies (22) Good night (2011) Bad night (541)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.

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  (715): I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out. http://tfl.nu/zox5
  Replies (1) Good night (1044) Bad night (807)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival

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  (504): Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird (504): Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival http://tfl.nu/ifc7
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.

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  (702): Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet. http://tfl.nu/3amu
  Replies (0) Good night (331) Bad night (670)
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  (067): View more from

  I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you

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  (067): I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you http://tfl.nu/7n00
  Replies (2) Good night (418) Bad night (509)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I think my nap took me to another dimension

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  (425): I think my nap took me to another dimension http://tfl.nu/36h1
  Replies (1) Good night (653) Bad night (249)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.

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  (615): fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize. http://tfl.nu/qrsa
  Replies (2) Good night (235) Bad night (269)

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