On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Randomize
