He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
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I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
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I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.