dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.