can we get nightvision for the apartment?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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