she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
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