how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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