I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
