Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You made out with two different species that night
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Randomize
