We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
