Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
