How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
