So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
