dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
