Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
