youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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