I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
