At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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