Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Randomize
