i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
