WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
