OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
wow bdsm is so cute
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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