I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Quick, to the slutcave!
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
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im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
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