Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish you could order shots online.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
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I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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