i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
