I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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