white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
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