So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
