R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
