I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
