i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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